Posts Tagged ‘Articles’
The Business of Buying and Selling Used
Jube - Tuesday, 11 January 2011 05:56
For as long as there have been video games, there has been talk of big business brick and mortar operations sticking it to consumers when it comes to the buying and selling of used games. Businesses pay next to nothing for your used games or trade-ins, then turn around and charge close to retail prices to resell them.
Is there a better alternative?
In December Amazon.co.uk announced that it would take your unwanted games (via free post) and give an Amazon.co.uk store credit for games that are accepted. That’s cool if you’re willing to take 3 quid for your copy of Alan Wake. Amazon.com will also do trade-ins. They’ll give you $1.00 USD for The Sims 3, $0.50 for BioShock 2 and Spore, or a whole $1.25 for Age of Empires III: Complete Collection.
Hardly seems worth it.
Recently a buy / sell site called Gamestaq re-launched, with the intention of competing with the big guns like GameStop and Amazon by getting people a fair price for their used games. Here’s an example of a Gamestaq transaction:
As a seller, I can unload Fable III (360) for $25.33, Gamestaq takes a $2.00 middle-man fee, and I get $23.33.
As a buyer, I can purchase Fable III for $25.33, add in a $2.00 Gamestaq fee, and $2.99 for shipping = $30.32 purchase total.
Sounds pretty good. At this time Gamestaq only operates in the US. We haven’t personally used the service, but we asked Gamestaq a couple of questions to see what their deal is.
Gamestaq is a peer-to-peer online marketplace that unites buyers and sellers with equal market pricing. The site offers transparency and convenience for both parties through prompt payments and guarantees of both products and transactions. Gamestaq was founded by entrepreneurs and avid gamers Joseph Gindi and David Faham.
What is Gamestaq’s reaction to the recent announcement that Amazon UK is now taking used games and accessories for account credit. Postage is free.
Gamestaq: Over the last year or so a few of the major retailers and e-tailers have opened their eyes to the size of the used game market, and the success that Gamestop has had in that market. Best Buy, Toys r us, Amazon, and even Walmart have all joined the fray.
But all of them are using the same old business model that’s been running the used game market since the beginning… buy a game for as cheap as possible from gamer A, and sell it for as much as possible to gamer B.
At Gamestaq we believe that gamers should get the most benefit from the value of their games, not the middleman retailer.
When you say that Gamestaq will give buyers and sellers “real market value” what does this mean? How do you determine the real market value of a used game?
Gamestaq: Gamestaq monitors used game prices at many key online sources. We then calculate the real market value of every game, and that’s what you’ll see on our site. This value gives the most benefit to the gamer… whether buying or selling.
Will Gamestaq actually be stocking games, or just playing the go-between for sellers and buyers? Will the site work like a used games classifieds site or will Gamestaq stock and ship used titles?
Gamestaq: Gamestaq is based on the concept of peer to peer transactions… gamer A will sell his game directly to gamer B.
However we’ve added in a few tweaks to the traditional P2P model in order to make the process smoother and easier for gamers. The entire transaction will be managed by Gamestaq, which means that the buyer and seller will never need to interact with each other to complete a sale.
We are currently working with 2 distribution partners to bring some great daily and weekly deals of games to our users, which will ship directly from our stock. This is projected to be integrated into Gamestaq in the 1st qtr 2011.
At the end of the day it seems that a concept such as Gamestaq’s must rely on the number of users the site has. Judging by the feedback so far, users are getting their games sold at the prices quoted on the site.
Press Release
Gamestaq.com, a streamlined peer-to-peer marketplace for buyers and sellers of video games, announced today the launch of its service for devoted gamers.
With game Call of Duty: Black Ops shattering single day video game sales with 5.6 million copies sold, video games cemented their place as the top grossing entertainment medium. Gamestaq meets the massive demand for a used game marketplace that provides fair market value pricing. The site will initially focus on titles released in the past 12 to 14 months, and will continually expand to include more titles and games from older video game systems.
Gamestaq Beta was previously launched during the second half of 2009 to an exclusive group of 2,000 hardcore gamers and testers. The service was very well received by this critical audience that provided many positive comments and reviews. Feedback from this knowledgeable audience allowed Gamestaq to significantly refine its offering for both buyers and sellers.
Gamestaq is the brainchild of Co-Founders Joseph Gindi and David Faham, both experienced gamers who were disappointed in the current industry. “We created Gamestaq because of our personal frustration with selling games,” said Joseph Gindi, CEO and Co-Founder of Gamestaq. “Brick and mortar competitors will buy a game for $25 and sell it 15 minutes later for $55. Gamestaq gives both parties the real market value for games through our secure and guaranteed marketplace.”
Gamestaq brings together sellers and buyers to complete equitable fair market trades. Using a proprietary algorithm that pulls in average pricing all across the web, Gamestaq sets equal pricing for both the selling and purchase of a game. Gamestaq gives both parties unparalleled simplicity and convenience through level, fair and non-negotiable pricing. The transaction model for Gamestaq is simple, a seller offers a game for sale via Gamestaq, and is then matched with a buyer looking for that specific game. The site eliminates the bulky auction process that can result in disputes or misrepresentation. There is no need for buyers and sellers to interact, the transaction is completed through Gamestaq, which guarantees all transactions and ensures payment data security. Neither party needs to worry about pushy buyers or unresponsive sellers, as Gamestaq is always the intermediary.
Once shipping is confirmed by Gamestaq’s unique pre-issued tracking number, their funds are released by Gamestaq into their own personal account. Each Gamestaq customer has a unique dashboard where they can control account and social information. Sellers can choose to use the money in their account to purchase a game via Gamestaq or can choose to cash out via PayPal or other methods. Revenue for Gamestaq comes from a small commission for each transaction that is payable by both buyer and seller. Gamestaq also does not require any additional posting fees for sellers.
“Real gamers appreciate our focus on customer service and pricing transparency,” said Gindi. “This is a smart customer base that has put up with an outdated buying and selling model for more than 15 years. As avid gamers, we know our customers want speed and reliability in transactions and payments. Used video game consumers have been clamoring for a better way for years, and Gamestaq fills that need perfectly.”
Tags: Articles, Gamestaq | Posted under Juberish | 
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No CommentsThe Gamers Diet and Podcasts
Jube - Friday, 17 July 2009 06:50
Just like Seinfeld, but not at all like Seinfeld, this week’s column is about nothing. How that differs from previous issues of the Jubblies, I have no clue. Today I am going to rattle on about two topics, information which I hope someone out there will find beneficial. The first topic is your health. The second topic is how I can improve the quality and content of your podcast. Let us begin.
The Gamer Diet
I visited WebMD.com once, so there is no need to contact your doctor prior to trying this diet.
It’s not uncommon for hardcore gamers to pack on a few extra pounds, as with the rest of the world, we are not immune just because know someone who owns a Wii. Hollywood has its own diets. So why shouldn’t we? Perhaps something that suits the frag-filled lifestyle of a gamer. That’s where I come in with my new Gamer Diet! Don’t even think about stealing the idea as your own, because make no mistake about it, I WILL hunt you down.
By the way, if you’re one of those people who are skin and bones fighting to gain an ounce while eating like a pig, then you can go away because I don’t like you.
History of The Gamer Diet
About two weeks ago, after being chocolate deprived for a lengthy period of time, I snorted back a bag of those Reese balls. Soon after I got the best chocolate buzz ever. I was full of energy for the rest of the day, and totally on my game. Sitting on Skype with Staci and Charlene, I was cracking killer one-liners and generally pinging off walls. They were in stitches the whole time. From recent surgeries. I didn’t walk my dogs that day, I RAN my dogs. It was brilliant. That’s when the light bulb came on. Gamers need a diet that not only gives them superhero energy, but one that they can actually stick to.
How The Gamer Diet Works
You eat only chocolate. Yup, it’s really as simple as that! Of course, you must spread your chocolate out through the course of the day. Want to learn more? Read on!
Gamer Diet Diary
Day 1: I had pizza for breakfast; perhaps I should start off on a fresh day. Screw it, let’s mow down some chocolate. Feeling pretty good. Sitting on Skype (as mentioned above), killer one-liners, all that jazz. Fully energized. Damn, it’s 3PM and I’m on my last chocolate bar. Screw it, I’ll have it with my litre of coffee, and then just not eat again today. Staci is being a bit cocky, she asks about the coffee and how that fits into the diet. Well, duh, liquids are always free items! She argues that my body will not see them as free items. /Roll Eyes, since when did she become the leading authority on diets? I’m the one who visited WebMD.com!
Day 2: Yesterday didn’t go as well as I had hoped. I went through my allotted chocolate for the day by 3:00 PM, and then cheated in the evening by eating dinner. This diet is now in closed beta until I work out the kinks. I bet if I had of had a big glass of water with each chocolate bar, it would have been more filling. I also made the mistake of eating an Oreo Cakester, when a Snickers would have been a more hardy meal.
Day 3: I went to the store to buy my chocolate for the day. I decide on chocolate coconut cookies and these caramel cookie bars. I’m keeping Little Debbie in business. Epic mistake here. I should have stuck to the regular old chocolate bars, because the temptation to eat all of the cookies is far too great. They look too good. By noon I feel sick. No energy. I decide to give up on The Gamer Diet. Then Staci asks me how the diet is going. Well crap, if she’s going to mock me then I have to keep going just to prove that my idea is brilliant and that one day I’m going to be doing my own infomercials.
Day 4: Gah, stupid weekend. Went to a friend’s place, we had pizza. Another day farked up. The closed beta may have to continue for some time yet. This diet is definitely not ready to be unveiled to the public.
Day 5: More chocolate, loads of coffee. I think my feet are starting to swell. I’m not feeling so good. I’ll eat a bacon sandwich to try to flush out some of the chocolate. Maybe I need to go back to the drawing board. I need a few days off to regroup. The Gamer Diet remains in closed beta, but I will update you all at a later date. In the meantime, here is a little FAQ.
Frequently Asked Questions
When will the diet be released?
When it’s done.
Did you lose any weight during the first beta phase?
I gained 3 pounds.
What kind of chocolate do you recommend?
Mars, Snickers, heavy bars in general.
How much chocolate can I eat?
That depends on what your target calories are per day.
What if I don’t like chocolate?
Go find another diet.
What if I am diabetic?
Go with Twix and spread out your chocolate into many small portions throughout the day.
How was your blood sugar after the first beta test?
I’m happy to report that it was completely normal.
Podcasts
Improving your site’s podcast, I know, it almost sounds too good to be true! Before I tell you how I can help you out, here’s a little background information.
I was involved in the Ding! MMO Podcast for the IGN Vault Network. We made it to episode eight and then IGN cancelled it. In true Yoko fashion, they broke up the band by moving two of our casters to IGN’s Command Prompt Podcast. That’s the story, short ‘n sweet, but if you want the bloated version you can read it in Jube’s Sour Grapes.
Why?
Why do I want to help you improve your POScast? To spite those that left me to my own devices. They were warned that I should never be left unsupervised, so whatever happens is down to them.
How?
How are you going to improve my podcast? I’m not actually going to improve it, it’s a bit deceptive really. Bear with me here, because it’s a little tricky and we know you’re not too bright. I go on your podcast once, and by the next episode your listeners will appreciate you so much more! Get it? Because I’m so annoying ‘n stuff.
What?
What do you bring to the table? Honestly, not a whole heck of a lot. But the podcast doesn’t even have to be in English, because I’m multilingual! Check it out.
Danish: Denne podcaster er godt.
Dutch: Deze podcastsoen is goed.
Finnish: Tämä podcastinen on hyvä.
French: Ce podcastille est bon.
German: Dieser podcasten ist gut.
Swedish: Denna podcastsen är bra.
Email Jube to better your podcast today!
Tags: Articles, Juberish, Podcasts, The Gamers Diet | Posted under Articles | No Comments
No CommentsA Day In The Life
Jube - Saturday, 27 June 2009 06:49
A couple of days ago I was reading A Day in the Life of a Senior Designer, a blog entry by BioWare’s David Feltham. It got me thinking about how many “day in the life” articles I’ve read over the years, and decided it might be interesting (well, sad really) to compare a day in my life to that of a productive member of society. Note that these are just small excerpts from David Feltham’s blog entry, and you can read the full thing here. I would also like to mention that I normally DO shower daily.
| David Feltham | Jube |
|---|---|
| 8:35 AM: Arrives at work sounding rather chipper and enthuiastic. | 5:00 AM: Wake up to find dog’s cornhoolio in my face. |
| 8.45 AM: Something about a Brazilian, and enjoying great coffee. | 5:05 AM: Stumble out into the street in pink kitty pajamas so dogs can do their business. Hoping no one walks by. |
| 8.55 AM: Drinks coffee and messes with iGoogle. | 5:06 AM: Crap, someone walked by. |
| 9.01 AM: Amused by a blog. | 5:15 AM: Grab some coffee (in 32 oz. New Kids On The Block mug) and head to computer. Spend the next half hour playing Mafia Wars on Facebook, and checking to see how many of my VE3D news posts Andrew has deleted or edited since I was last online. |
| 9.15 AM: Listening to his Zune and thinking about Tragically Hip. | 6:15 AM: Spend half an hour writing “In Other News…”, still incapable of forming a complete thought. Need a round of Bejeweled Blitz. |
| 9.22 AM: Reading emails about the E3 build of Mass Effect 2. | 6:45 AM: One of my dogs has gas and the other one is poking me in the leg. 911 walkies time. Toss some clothes over the pink kitty pajamas. |
| 9.40 AM: Standing around the watercooler discussing X-men Origins: Wolverine: Uncaged, the game. | 7:00 AM: Epic fail on poo-patrol, got some transfer on my hand. |
| 9.43 AM: Time to meet with the 44 designers of Mass Effect and make fun of people wearing game shirts. | 8:00 AM: Dogs have been fed, poo-hand has been washed, time to get back to the computer and to my coffee. |
| 10.00 AM: Co-worker tells him a funny story. | 8:05 AM: Random IMs are starting to come in. Fake morning pleasantries, start browsing for news, get bored, play Bejeweled Blitz. |
| 10.10 AM: Does a playthrough of some of his work from the previous day. It’s ready to be reviewed by the Leads. | 8:30 AM: Managed to get a news post done. Andrew is awake now. I’ll tell him I’ve been having connection problems and go back to Bejeweled. |
| 10.15 AM: Scrum time. | 9:30 AM: Managed to get in another post or two. I haven’t brushed my hair in 24 hours. Still wearing pink pajamas. |
| 10.30 AM: Finished Scrum. | 10:45 AM: Starting to wake up now. Search IM and Facebook for someone to argue with. |
| 10.42 AM: New cup of coffee, reading an interview. | 11:10 AM: Got an email from Staci Krause, the Ding! MMO Podcast has been cancelled. I’m upset. |
| 10.47 AM: Double checking his henchmen and enemies. | 11:15 AM: Make fun of Darkfall for a while. |
| 10.49 AM: Got another IM and some geomotry updates. About to do a playthrough with the bosses. He is anxious but not nervous. | 11:45 AM: Hang up on my third telephone solicitor call of the morning. |
| 10.57 AM: Listening to the new Prodigy. | 12:00 PM: Dogs are gassy again, take them out for a walk. |
| 11.11 AM: Another playthrough, finds some bugs. | 12:01 PM: Still wearing pink kitty pajamas and haven’t brushed hair yet. |
| 11:13 AM: Fix bugs. | 12:05 PM: Dogs go Cujo over a skateboarder, leash tears a chunk of flesh out of my finger. |
| 11.19 AM: Updating new art and new doors. Level looks amazing. | 12:30 PM: Still out with dogs. Spontaneous nose bleed, only have one tissue, hands and dog leashes are full of blood, have to try to make it home without being detected by humanity. |
| 12:10 PM: Getting lunch. He’s wearing combat boots and black jeans. It’s hot out, bad day for black jeans! | 12:55 PM: Make it home alive. |
| 1:17 PM: Desperate for more coffee, but has heartburn. Fixes bugs instead. | 1:00 PM: Mmm, coffee. Knock out a few more news posts while whining to Andrew about other news sites. Some of them are total asshats. |
| 1:24 PM: Learns about action stations. | 2:15 PM: Get a call from a friend I haven’t spoken to for months. He knocked up some chick. They’re going to call the baby “Maximus”. |
| 2:45 PM: Just came from a meeting on skeletal meshes. Learned many things today. Falling asleep. | 3:00 PM: Notice an ant hill out back. Out of RAID. Trying to decide how to kill them. We’ll go with the liquid soap method. Ants die instantly, I’m thoroughly amused. Go around looking for more ant hills to destroy. |
| 2:55 PM: Feels like some Jeff Buckley, time to start tweaking the last battle. | 6:00 PM: Crap, the soap from the ant hills has killed the grass, there are big brown spots everywhere. |
| 3:04 PM: Listening to Tool. | 6:05 PM: Take dogs out for their evening walk, one at a time. My mutilited skinless finger still hurts. Still wearing pink kitty pajamas, and haven’t brushed hair. |
| 3:19 PM: Pimping the shit out of his level with skeletal meshes, visual FX and level events. | 7:00 PM: Starting to panic now, I haven’t done much work today. Stressed. Need to play Bejeweled. |
| 4:47 PM: Wrapping up some last minute scripting for tomorrow’s level build. | 9:00 PM: Did just enough work to make it look like I probably did some work. I doubt Andrew has fallen for it, but that’s okay snce no one important will notice. |
| 5:20 PM: Playthrough works, found some bugs to address tomorrow. Heads out for the night. | 9:15 PM: Whine about exhaustion then log for the night. Save time getting ready for bed by already wearing pajamas. Brush teeth. Find a grey hair, pull it out. Consider testing out the whole Twittering from the bathtub thing. Too tired, maybe tomorrow. Watch Family Guy and go to sleep. |
Tags: Articles, Juberish | Posted under Articles | No Comments
No CommentsChampions Online: Secret Communique Intercepted
Jube - Thursday, 28 May 2009 06:26
We recently came across the following communications between Champion Wadpuff Footloaf and The Bronze Hornet. Here you will find a rundown of the first five levels in Champions Online. We will be watching for further communications to share with you as the weeks go on.
Stardate: Wrong Game
To: The Bronze Hornet
From: Wadpuff Footloaf
Dear Friend, this may be our last communication. Millennium City is under attack from the Qularr. Remember when we were in the academy and you told me that I would never amount to anything? You were wrong. Despite my striking resemblance to a little pink meatball and my love of women’s clothing, I have been called to active duty. Yes, it is true, the fate of Millennium City rests in my hands. If it were not for all of the purple nurples and wedgies that you and the other super-jocks gave me at the academy; I’m not certain that I would be tough enough to handle a mission of such importance. I realize now that you were a true friend after all, and only doing what was best for me. I owe you my thanks, friend, and so does Millennium City.
To: Wadpuff Footloaf
From: The Bronze Hornet
Sorry, I don’t remember you. Perhaps you have me confused for someone else.
To: The Bronze Hornet
From: Wadpuff Footloaf
Always a kidder you are! I’m standing here in Millennium City with Sergeant McAvoy. He wants me to ask him questions, but I’m not in the mood for mindless flirting. I tell him like it is, “Sergeant, we’ve got bugs to splatter, let’s move this along.”, he nods his head and gives me my first mission. I must go interact with a computer. I thought I was already doing that. The computer is just across the street and there’s a big glowing question mark above it, hanging in suspended animation. Technology is always one step ahead. Or perhaps it is a doomsday device planted by the Qularr. There’s only one way to find out.
The computer is welcoming me to Millennium City, they desperately need my help. The Qularr have invaded the city and it’s up to me to turn them into bug juice. See? What did I tell you, Hornet? It’s all up to me. You were right when you said that locking me in the supply cupboard and giving me toilet swirlies would add character and put hair on my chest! This computer in which I have just interacted with has faith in my abilities to save the city. That’s right Hornet my good friend, a whole city!
I must say, this is a very simple, yet tiresome mission. Hurry things up computer, surely there is work to be done here requiring of my super abilities. I’ll just surf some porn while you continue yacking. Done. Now it’s time to get down to the real business of being a superhero. I have to destroy three alien pods in the alley to the south. Damn alien spawn, I’ll show them we mean business! Hey, another superhero is checking out my goods. Can’t say that I blame him. Time to destroy those pods with my Sonic Blast and… damn that dragon guy is staring at my back-side again. One would think that he had never seen a bunny tail before.
Alright the pods have been destroyed. I wonder if I have saved the city yet. Must consult with the all-knowing computer. Unfortunately, the battle rages on. As part of my training I must go block three attacks from the Mars Troopers. Strange, I can’t get the Troopers to fire upon me. Some super-wannabe with a mohawk just walked up and they went straight at him. Why won’t they hit me?! I should have paid attention to the computer instead of surfing porn.
Wait, they’ve just started shooting at me, perhaps there was a queue. I think I am done here, time to report to the Quartermaster. Oh look, a free gift. See how important I am here, Hornet? I’ve yet to have my underpants pulled over my head here, I am now a proper superhero, and it is all thanks to you!
Oops, turns out that I didn’t actually block any of those attacks from the Mars Troopers, even though it said “BLOCK” in big red letters. Obviously my blocking ability is broken, since it surely canot be a skill-related issue. I’m going to be here all day while the other heroes get to kill bugs. I have just been informed that I have now blocked all of the shots. In fact, I did not, they must be giving me a free pass because this mission is too simple for the likes of Champion Wadpuff Footloaf!
To: Wadpuff Footloaf
From: The Bronze Hornet
No, really, I have no idea who you are. I am a very busy person, you may want to try the academy directory to find the person you are looking for.
To: The Bronze Hornet
From: Wadpuff Footloaf
Ha! Thanks Hornet, my best friend, I needed a good laugh after all of the doom and gloom I have endured here in Millennium City. Oh look, it’s the Mayor. He’s calling me over! The Mayor! Hear that, Hornet? The Mayor has called for me. I bet you never would have thought I’d one day be doing jobs for the Mayor. My old co-workers at the Piggly Wiggly would be so jealous right now!
It seems that the Mayor has a very important mission that only I can accomplish for him. When the Qularr invasion began, the Mayor and his staff fled the Mayor’s office. His laptop computer and city emergency plans were left behind. I must retrieve them, the fate of the city depends on it. The building has been ravaged by fire. Qularr hide in wait. Fortunately the Mayor’s belongings are glowing brightly, allowing for easy retrieval. The Mayor has rewarded me for a job well done. But it’s all in a day’s work for this superhero!
To: Wadpuff Footloaf
From: The Bronze Hornet
Look kid, I don’t remember you. Quit messaging me.
To: The Bronze Hornet
From: Wadpuff Footloaf
Hornet, you’re such a cut-up! You’re killing me here. Wait, what’s this now? Oh no, this poor gentleman wants to go on holiday to Canada, but he fled his apartment without his suitcase, tickets and passport! I must help him, this is definitely a job for Champion Wadpuff Footloaf! It appears that his belongings have been stolen by the Qularr. I must kill the bugs until I find the ones that are carrying the belongings.
Oh Hornet, it is a dismal scene here. The Qularr have begun to take hostages, and there are survivors trapped in the rubble. My communicator keeps informing me that I have rescued a hostage, yet I don’t recall ever doing so. I must be even better at this superhero thing than I thought! As I continue my search for the traveler’s belongings, I have been blasting the rubble in order to help survivors escape, and apparently rescuing hostages. I have completed my missions and have received several gifts of coin, stars and experience points, along with the odd gadget to aide in my future missions. It’s a good day to be a superhero, my friend.
To: Wadpuff Footloaf
From: The Bronze Hornet
Leave me alone!
To: The Bronze Hornet
From: Wadpuff Footloaf
Hornet, it appears that you are not in a happy mood today, perhaps news of my latest accomplishments will cheer you up! I got to participate in an epic battle to repair and protect a rather large rocket. It was ever so much fun! Heroes in the area all joined in to assist, and the mission was a success. We’ll squash those bugs yet! Oh, another mission… I just finished pacifying Enraged Qularr, and have received more gifts from my adoring fans!
Good news my friend, I have discovered a weakness in the Qularr! It is my Sonic Arrows! Although this is a wonderful discovery indeed, I do so wish that I had more powers at my disposal. I want to shoot bolts of lightning and fire from my finger tips like the other heroes. Wait, I have just made another discovery! It appears that I have several new powers available to me, now if only I could figure out how to activate them. Perhaps I have to see a trainer? Help me, Hornet, I do so need your advice. I am terribly embarrassed to let anyone know that a superhero at training level 5 has yet to figure out how to utilize their skills. Do you think there may be a trainer in the city?
To: Wadpuff Footloaf
From: The Bronze Hornet
I think I may remember you now. Were you the one that used to stand around the urinals all day?
To: The Bronze Hornet
From: Wadpuff Footloaf
Ha! Oh yes, the memories, thank you for lifting my spirits once again, my friend. I have just been given my biggest mission yet. I must enter the Champions HQ, eliminate some Qularr and destroy some sort of communication device. Wish me well, I believe this will be both a challenging and dangerous missions.
Hornet, I am sad to say that I have suffered my first defeat. I must rest and heal now, so that I may live to fight another day. I will send further communications when I am back on my feet and fit for battle once again. I look forward to detailing my next set of adventures as I continue training levels 5-10. Until that time, I wish you well. Please do not worry after me, my friend. We must both be brave in these difficult times.
Tags: Articles, Champions Online, Games, MMORPG | Posted under Articles | No Comments
No CommentsHow I Almost Became A Virtual Hooker
Jube - Wednesday, 22 April 2009 06:02
Disclaimer: This article contains mature subject matter. Although no outside links are being provided, if you choose to search for the service mentioned below, then be prepared to see digital boobies, hoochie mamas and animated threesomes. Don’t come crying to Voodoo Extreme if your kid sees wang. We will not be held accountable for any pre-existing or new medical conditions which flare up as a result of a visit to that (or any other) virtual clap trap (even the made-up conditions like ADHD, clearly designed to justify poor parenting).
*Names have been changed to protect the perverted.
My name is Roxy. Life on the virtual streets ain’t easy. My mama is also my daddy. My baby daddy logged out of EverQuest after he knocked me up. He says the kid ain’t his, and that all gnomes look alike. We be going on Maury next month for one of them free DNA tests. Growing up my friends all wanted to make something of themselves. They dreamt of a better life. They wanted to be webmasters and IT professionals. But I was different. I grew up with a punch card in my pocket and the dream of becoming a virtual hooker.
My friends, who turned out to be men masquerading as women, all realized their dreams. Now they spend their days staring out the ass end of a cubicle. I waited it out for years, and then it finally came, in the form of an instant message from an old guildmate. She said “Hey sluttles, I hear you want to become a virtual hooker. In Utherverse you can be anything you want to be. I used to be bi-curious, now I’m virtually married to a lesbian. I’ll hook you up, put me down as your refer.”
Huzzah! This is my lucky day. I told another friend about my big opportunity to finally become a virtual hooker. *Trissa was pretty interested and decided to check out the Utherverse herself. Before I signed up, I had some time to talk to her about what the world was like. She told me she was approached by a pimp right away. I was excited. I was ready.
The Utherverse currency is called “Rays”. While speaking with *Trissa, she told me that in order to make coin you first have to dish out some coin. In the form of a VIP subscription. You mean that you have to pay to become a virtual hooker? Oh the irony. I decided to go on and have a look for myself, see if this world had anything to offer me. While I had my 3D client on the DL, I zapped back a Diet Coke to loosen up my inhibitions. As I entered the Utherverse I arrived in a room wearing the shortest short-shorts imaginable, and a tacky top. Not quite virtual hooker material, but trampy enough to get on the hooker highway.
The Utherverse features a ton of avatar customization options for face, body and clothing. Piercings, tattoos, underwear and funky hair styles are among the many toys to tinker with. You can even make and sell clothing in this social virtual world. So I decided to snag me some new threads. Unfortunately you can only change clothes and get all of those funky hair styles if you become a VIP paid member.
Other features of The Red Light Center area of the Utherverse include unlimited adult content, your own apartment, VIP access to special player pictures, private messaging and advanced custom avatars. But all at a price. Let’s see what the VIP is going to ring me. $20 a month! That’s $5 dollars more than the average MMO subscription. All so that you can talk dirty to people, watch pixelated pornography and earn your rays turning tricks. Screw that.
And that’s how I almost became a virtual hooker.
Oh well, in reality my dream was never to become a virtual hooker. Instead it was to find my place in the world as a hard-hitting reporter who would write an exposé on the seedy underbelly of the virtual worlds. Maybe even set up one of those cool Dateline MSNBC sting operations.
Perhaps I wasn’t meant for Dateline MSNBC, or maybe the timing wasn’t right. Either way, I think I’ll just continue to report from the virtual ghetto, right here on VE3D. Maybe I’ll join one of those RP whore guilds. *Trissa is still stuck in the Utherverse, paying the monthly VIP fee. I’m setting up an intervention.
This has been an exclusive VE3D non-report on Utherverse. Too cheap to buy a VIP subscription. No exposé. No sting operations. No shirt, no shoes, no dice.
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