Posts Tagged ‘Juberish’
The Morning Juberish – Potty Mouth Edition
Jube - Thursday, 5 April 2012 08:10
According to Dr. Oz, people who swear more have less stress. Fuck yeah! People always want to know the secret to my Zen-ness. The answer my friend is blowing in the wind, the answer is blowing in the fucking wind.
Juberish: Luther Vs. Lex Luther
Jube - Monday, 6 February 2012 03:38
Yo. Anyone do anything fun over the weekend? Sometimes I wonder… what it would be like to do something fun. Ohhh Luther won some sort of Golden Globe award. I rejected the show initially because I assumed it was about Lex Luther. /Bonk. Looking forward to Alcatraz, and the return of Walking Dead. I’ve got my friends convinced that when the zompocalypse comes my gaming experiences have provided me the skills to protect them. They’re not gamers so the silly bastards don’t know my track record. My real plan is to use them as a food source.
We’ve been getting some nice emails lately, like fan type stuff. None about me, but I’m sure those ones just got stuck in the tube or something. So how are things then? Everyone happy? Staff being good to you? Just say the word. I’ll de-ball those douche-nozzles if they’re getting on your tits. I have to go write to my prison pen pal now, ciao!
If you’re into electronics, or kinda sorta into electronics, then check out CES 2012 in 60 Seconds, you’ll feel like you were there but saved a whole lot of money. Then have a boo at these fine pieces of video mastery… two year old smoker, gun fail compilation, pound on my muffin.
Crazy video action here. Get your barf bag ready and make sure you watch it to the kiss at the end.
Juberish: Kick A Kid Then Play Some Old Republic
Jube - Monday, 23 January 2012 04:40
Hi-Ho! How’s you? The weekend was kind of decent. Had a blast chasing my dogs and a friend’s dog with a remote control rat and a tarantula. I laughed so hard I peed in my pants a bit. Watched the whole first season of Being Human. Kicked a kid for shits and giggles. Finally rolled a character in SW:TOR, got to about level 6. I had way more fun when I played the closed beta for a day. I think it’s down to the lightsaber. Last time I was a Jedi Knight and I had a long glowing lightsaber that was too sexy for my shirt. Now I’m a Sith Inquisitor and I have this shitty little training saber and it’s not all lit up light a Christmas tree. I think I need to re-roll a Jedi.
I have 84 days to decide if TOR sucks or not. Funny story last week. Apparently BioWare unloaded a shitty update for TOR, or Tortanic as some people are calling it. The patch unbalanced the game drastically according to Kirk Sigmon, and as a result many decided to cancel their account. However, when they went to do so the cancel subscription button was missing. /LOL. Burned. If you have any interest then read the article, it’s pretty entertaining.
Daehawk sent this next bit over last week and it’s awesome, but terrifying at the same time. It’s Beavis and Butthead in real life, designed by makeup effects artist Kevin Kirkpatrick.
Tags: Beavis & Butthead, Juberish, Star Wars: The Old Republic | Posted under Juberish, News | 
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No CommentsJuberish: Did You Floss Your Fanny Today?
Jube - Friday, 20 January 2012 05:16
This week can’t end soon enough. You know it’s gonna suck when you kick things off by falling down the stairs. You know you’re in a funk when you derive no pleasure from going around telling small children that there is no Santa Claus. And if all of the bruises and not finding pleasure in the pain of others wasn’t enough… my doctor called me to say I haven’t had a checkup in many, many years. Well no shit Sherlock. Why the hell do I need a checkup when I have an internet connection and WebMD?
Bah. But thanks to my inability to say no (to most things :p) I let her convince me to go in on Friday. So next week I should know how many different types of cancer are feeding off me and how many strokes and heart attacks I should have over the next year. I just hope my brain cell is clean or shit’s gonna get real. I’ll take it to the people! /Kungfu.
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No CommentsJuberish: SW:TOR and Lady Diapers
Jube - Friday, 20 January 2012 03:35
TGIF! What do you panty-herders have planned for the weekend? I’m finally going to roll a toon in SW: TOR. I’ve had it installed for almost a month now, it’s time to show some commitment! And I’m going to sleep. Maybe. I had a total case of granny-bladder this past week. Do you know how uncomfortable it is to sleep in a wet diaper?
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No CommentsJuberish: Pure Kaka
Jube - Monday, 9 January 2012 03:43
Ever wonder where kaka came from? And I don’t mean the soccer player. Tee hee kaka plays soccer. Or maybe it’s caca. Is it even a real word? I hate to say it, but kaka might remain a mystery for all time. Not that there’s much time left, since the world is going to end this year. Can you believe that kaka? I just heard about it. Game developers better release the good titles before December 2012. I have a feeling that when the world ends we’ll likely lose power.
What’s new with you?
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No CommentsJuberish: Happy New Year!
Jube - Monday, 2 January 2012 03:44
Happy New Year! Any resolutions? I used to make them but now I just find it a waste of 30 seconds of my life. I can’t spare it, can’t spare a square. What did you all do on New Year’s Eve? I was asleep by 10 PM. Had a great snooze until some douchenburgers started blowing off fireworks across the road at midnight.
I just read that 1 in 25 people are sociopaths. Must have sucked to be the person who had to count them all. I think the numbers are flawed. Like seriously, raise your hand if someone came to your door to ask if you are a sociopath. It’s like the newspaper boy that tosses all the papers in the bin and then says they were delivered. I’d like to meet a sociopath counter. Give ‘em a piece of my mind I would!
Anyone wanna buy some nut butter? NUT BUTTAH, get your NUT BUTTAH here!
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No CommentsJuberish: The Sniffles X2
Jube - Monday, 19 December 2011 03:49
Good lawd, would you believe it if I said I was sick again? I actually had two healthy days in between colds. You’d think I was a school teacher or something. I’ve made a list of things that strengthen the immune system. Now all I need is someone to fetch the shit and serve it up to me. I wonder if Booster Juice delivers. I’m single-handedly keeping Dristan in business.
I got an email last week from StormPowered digital distribution. I had never heard of it before. StormPowered, SteamPowered, WTFPowered. Colour me temporarily confuzzled. But the scariest thing was their landing page… before you click on the link (assuming you might be planning to click on the link) let me warn you that it’s creepy and in your face, so try not be too sceered. 
Here is the linkage.
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No CommentsJuberish: The Cockey Cockney
Jube - Monday, 12 December 2011 05:07
I think I have writer’s block. Or dry mouth. Is it even possible to get writer’s block in the Juberish? It’s just a bunch of streaming rubbish. Like Netflix Canada. I think I’ll be cockney today. So, I made it through the bloomin’ weekend wifaht a single injury. Oh ‘eaven and ‘ell, I fin’ i’ll just kick Hammer and Tack today wif an episode of the l’il andy sha. wot did ya aw do over the weekend?
Let’s give away anovver batman: ‘rkham city Brenda Lee. I fin’ it might be for steam, but I dunna so figure it aahhht on your Jack Jones, eh? Random tom Brad Pitt in the bleedin’ gaff. guess a number between 0 and 1000, the Damien Hirst ter come closest ter the randomly chosen number by 12 noon pacific (3:00 pm est) wins the Brenda Lee.
Na donald duck Frank Bough and get me a Philharmonic.
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No CommentsJuberish: Batman and Bowel Issues
Jube - Monday, 5 December 2011 03:50
‘Sup? Yeah, I’m cool like dat. What did you all do over the weekend? I had an awesome out of body experience / hallucination. I finished Arkham City. I had an explosive planted in my tooth which caused my brain matter to explode out of the top of my head. My dog had the ‘rhea. I finally did laundry. I had an Angry Whopper and had to pick all of the angry off it for fear of spontaneous combustion. Yup, that’s aboot it, eh! Et tu?
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